Friday 18 September 2015

What my Egyptian husband says, and what he actually means


When I lived in the UK, time was a concept I didn't think about much, other than the usual feelings of time flying when fun is being had and time dragging a ball and chain at other times. It turns out that time is much more fluid than I realised - or at least it is in Egypt. I'm struggling to adjust to this, so I have started putting together a glossary so that when my husband says something to me about time, I can check and see what it is he really means. This is what I have so far:
Is it that time already?
 
It will happen tomorrow.
It will happen at some unspecified time in the future, but definitely not tomorrow.

It will happen soon.
It will happen at some unspecified time in the future, but definitely not soon.

It will happen eventually.
It's never going to happen.

You need to be more patient.
Stop being so British.

I'm going to take a small nap.
I'm going to get a full eight hours in, more if no-one wakes me up.

I'll be home for dinner.
I'll eat my dinner for breakfast. Or maybe lunch.

I'll be home late.
I'll be home at some unspecified time in the future, but not during the time period you call 'today'.

I'll be home tonight.
I'll be home tomorrow afternoon.

I'll be leaving soon.
I'll be leaving at some unspecified time in the future, but definitely not soon.

What do you mean I'm late?
I've actually arrived, so how can I be late?

I'll be leaving after this cup of tea.
I'll be leaving after another 6 cups of tea and a few cigarettes.

I'm going to work.
I might go to work at some point, but I've got 9 other places to go first.

I'm on my way home.
I'm on my way home but I've got to call into 16 other places on the way so don't expect me any time soon.

I'll do it now.
I'm going to have 23 cups of tea and a few more cigarettes first, by which time it will be dark and I won't be able to do it.

I'll do it soon.
I'm not going to do it.

1 comment:

  1. Hahahaha yeah I feel you :)
    You got yourself a typical Egyptian man :)

    ReplyDelete